Rough Draft Reflection

Alright peeps, here's a reflection. I started off writing this well and then I got writers block. I have too many ideas in my head to organize them coherently on paper. I obviously have a lot to improve on. I was mostly being motivated by my strong emotions on the issue since I have a very big opinion on the matter. Basically, it's a rough draft. It's very rough and not long enough. I will get there eventually. I just need a little more practice. Below this is a copy of my draft. No judgement, ok? 

Candela Lattanzio

Debra Reece

English 1010

11 September 2014

Curfew

            Over the course of my teenage years my parents and I have always gotten along very well. We have never argued about big issues such as alcohol or substance abuse. I consider myself a good child. The only constant, ever-going argument we have is about curfew. This ongoing battle had been raging for years and we have yet to reach an agreement. They believe that I should get home when they tell me to and I believe that I can make that choice for myself. Perhaps seeing this argument from the point of the teenager thoroughly thought out, it will make a little more sense.

            I agree, to a point, that everyone should get home at a fairly decent hour. The problem is, how is a decent hour defined and who defines it? Until the age of seventeen I feel it alright for parents to enforce a curfew. However, upon reaching the age of eighteen, lawful adulthood, parents should not continue to enforce curfew. Once a person turns eighteen, their parents are no longer liable for them. Everything the now-legal-adult does is solely in their hands. If they screw up no one is allowed to blame the parent. If they do something good, it’s their own accomplishment. That is how the law treats it. If the law, the very thing that governs us, agrees that we can make our own decisions then why don’t parents as well? As legal adult we have the right, the civil right, to govern ourselves.

            As human beings we have a marvelous gift called agency and free will. Agency, as defined on the web dictionary, is “The means of exerting power or influence”. We have the ability to exert that influence and that power over ourselves. By forcing things upon, or telling children what they can or can’t do, that agency is taken away. By enforcing a curfew the power to govern oneself and to make choices for oneself is being wrongfully deprived. As adults we have knowledge enough to know what is right and what is wrong. When we are out we can make our own choices about what we want to do, including when we want to get home.

            When someone tells you not to look at something or not to touch something, what is your first instinct? You automatically do the opposite of what you have just been instructed to do. The same applies to curfew. The more a curfew is enforced or pushed upon an individual the more they are going to fight against it. At least that is the case with me. My parents and even my siblings are constantly texting me through the night telling me that I need to be getting home. They do this even when it is not late at night but when the night is still quite young. Their constant badgering turns me away and makes me not want to go home. The more they push, the more I pull away. This is something parents need to realize. The more you try to force something upon your child the more they will rebel. We are teenagers and want to enjoy these few years we get of being young. As long as we are not doing anything unlawful I don’t understand why it is such a crime in the eyes of parents to stay out a little later than their recommended curfew.

            I also pose a compromise. If there is no badgering from the parental end then the teenager/young adult will periodically check in to assure the parents that they are alright. When my parents are constantly sending me messages I ignore them. I don’t like that they constantly have to know every aspect of my life. I like having my individuality. When they constantly annoy me I feel like they are trying to control my life. We as people like to be in control of as many things as possible, ourselves being one of them. So when I feel like I’m being controlled I want to do what will make me feel like I’ve regained control. If that is getting home at a later hour then so be it. On the other hand, when they don’t badger me, I will text them telling them where I am going, who I am with, and what I will be doing. When I feel like I am in control I am more than complacent. Once that is taken away I am quite the opposite. This compromise, parents not constantly nagging their children and their children then checking in, is very promising. Everybody wins. The parents know that their child is safe and the child gets to go out and have fun without worrying about getting in trouble with their parents.

            In conclusion, we must allow our children to express their agency. They are old enough to make their own decisions and govern themselves. It is not unlawful for adults eighteen years of age or older to be out past eleven o’clock. The more you push the more they pull away until they finally break free and you lose them. If you want to know what your kid is doing then have then check in with you. Come to a compromise. Things can be worked out. Parents, please try to understand your children. You were once teenagers too. This is a fragile, fleeting time in their lives, time that they will never be able to get back. So let them go out and have their fun. After all if we truly want them to learn we will let them learn through experience. Experience and mistakes are the best teachers. There are good reasons for having curfew, but if your child is eighteen they are legally an adult and have the power to make that decision. Let your adult decide. Let them choose for themselves and perhaps you will see that by giving them a little freedom, you’ve received a little respect in return.