As states in an earlier post, Ammon printed out my paper and wrote notes directly on it. He wrote down what he liked, what he related to, and what I should change. Tyler compared two of my drafts and told me what he liked best from each one, what I should combine from each one and what should be left out. They were both very helpful. I did the same thing as Ammon. I printed out their drafts and wrote dirtily on them. So, Im going to summarize what I wrote fir them.
In Ammon's:
His topic was really awesome. I really loved it. He had very vivid imagery and lots of helpful statistics. He included his own personal experiences which make the essay so much better. His paper over all was just amazing. I corrected some grammatical errors, but besides that I didn't think there was much else to do. His essay, to me, didn't seem like it needed much else.
In Tyler's
Tyler's topic is something that i feel very strongly about. He had great arguments, but they weren't very well organized. Also, his sentence structure lacked. I wrote down suggestions on how to make them better. I also wrote down counter arguments that people might have and I told him that he should address them. He also had several grammatical things that I addressed. His essay has a lot of potential, he just has to tweak it up a bit.
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